The Side of the Family that Smells Funny Seeking Answers from a Magic 8 Ball, Atwood, KS

"It was so easy to disown what you couldn't recognize, to keep yourself apart from things that were foreign and unsettling. The only person you can be sure to control, always, is yourself. Which is a lot to be sure of, but at the same time, not enough."
— Sarah Dessen 

I'm' writing today from Atwood, KS, aka the pride of the prairie. We are staying in a large home, four bedrooms, one another house in the basement, the green shag carpet is the space's highlight. It was a little off our route but worth the drive to stay in such a retro space.

I woke up to make coffee; neither coffee maker works; it seems I'll go without a good governor for this Saturday morning. I sipped my water; my wife is still asleep, the pup is investigating this house; at any point, I expect a zombie to rush upstairs.

So how are you? I'm fine, thank you for asking, I'm a little surprised at the behavior of my fellow humans, but I'm learning, who to trust, how to discount; I think by the time I'm 80, I'll have figured out human behaviors. So it's 7:22 here, 8:22 back home in Indiana, and 6:22 at our CO mountain top chalet. Time is funny, we believe it to be a constant, but it's a bouning concept that changes depending on where you are.

We are four hours from home, we will drive the last two, stop by a dispensary on the way home, procure some medicine, and then head to unload our pup, our stuff, and later today meet some friends for a drink and some food. I miss our cats, I miss our view, I miss our community, it will be nice to get home, but now I'll miss my Indy family.  

It was my granddaughter's birthday yesterday. My granddaughter's interesting; I learned of her birth from my cousin. So I was given congratulations for something I didn't know existed. I knew my son and his wife were expecting but thought I might get a call advising of the birth, but nope, I found out from a text from Tia.

The story gets a little stranger; my granddaughter is now two, I've never held the kid, I've seen her a few times, I've been regulated to the garage when I visit, my son and his wife are concerned about the pandemic, it's a strange position to be in as a grandfather who has yet to hold his 2-year-old grandkid. They are expecting another; maybe I'll get to hold this one, maybe one day I can pick the first up and tell her how much I love her, but for now, I'm just some guy that facetimes her.

The last time I visited my son's home, I was able to enter the house only to use the bathroom. I've not been inside the house for over a year; I'm starting to believe I have a rank smell that turns my son's home into a dangerous zone. Thankfully, our family side is all inflicted with the same scent; I would hate to think it's me?

My non-biological daughter is expecting in May; I've been told I will hold that one, a boy, his name is Bo, I know his middle name, but I can't share. It's not Anson, but that's ok; I'll be happy when I get to hold one of my grandchildren. So why have I not held my grandkid? I honestly don't know; I know my son's mother has neither held the kid nor my parents; maybe we have a disease? As of now, we simply chalk the behavior up to the pandemic; perhaps the future will provide some answers.

What in your life is weird? What do you struggle to explain? Lately, I'm working to explain why some people who talk are deemed misinformation, and others are deemed the gold standard. Why is one human's views ok, but another's dismissed? Is there a narrative that we must believe, or will our lives become unencumbered with reality? I have many questions and a few answers, but I think that is life; we are here to seek and never find.

We have been blessed with some good weather traveling west. It was 50 degrees yesterday; I think we will get home before any significant snow. We will be home for a week before heading south to Mexico. My wife and I are heading down to spend some time at the Cabo Marina and dine on chips and salsa at Sammy's bar.

We typically go to Mexico in February and November; we missed this past November. We had a wedding and family stuff. I think the pandemic is wanning life will be returning to normal. Interest rates are on the rise, I know it's not a perfect world, but those low-interest loans we all secured the last few years will be some low-cost money we can use in the future.

I'm working with a consulting company on a significant tax credit for our business. If we earn it, it could be a game-changer; all businesses qualify, it's an "I'm in the know." thing; if it works, I'll be sharing, for now, I'll keep that card close to my chest.

The news is interesting; as we enjoy great weather in the west, the east is getting hit with a Nor'easter Blizzard. Have I told you how much I want climate change? But, I don't believe the hype; I think mother earth will be fine; we humans have a high degree of want for our importance, we are one species of many, soon we will be gone, and the earth can get on doing earth things.

Tomorrow I will write my soup from my purple bean bag writing station. My fireplace will be to my right, the sun will be coming up over my right shoulder, I'll be home for the first time in 4 months, and I'm sad to leave my Indiana friends and family, but I'm happy to be home. I now deem CO home, not officially, I pay taxes in Indiana, but my heart resides on top of a mountain in a town known as Conifer. My ashes will be spread on that mountain, and my grandchildren will one day visit and see the land that Grandson claimed as his own.

Will they know me? I don't know, so far, no, my grandkid does not know me, I'm just another human like you, you have the same relationship with my son's kid as me, weird. But I have two other kids; I'm promised I'll get to be a part of their children's lives, and Maylynn, if your future self is reading this, maybe me, you and your sister can enjoy life together, for now, that is not the case, and I'll keep asking myself why until the answer shows up in my magic eight ball.

"It was so easy to disown what you couldn't recognize, to keep yourself apart from things that were foreign and unsettling. The only person you can be sure to control, always, is yourself. Which is a lot to be sure of, but at the same time, not enough."
— Sarah Dessen