The 3 Rule of Life, Taking Out the Human Trash, Seeking People that Think Outside the Rhombus

"Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don't listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don't listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what's behind the words."
— Roy T. Bennett 

Good morning and happy Thursday; I hope you slept well; I did! 9 hours of glorious uninterrupted sleep. I went to get out of bed at 5:30, my wife asked me the time, and I shared; she said "too early," so I got back in bed and enjoyed an additional hour of bedtime with my wife.

I had a great day yesterday; I had our weekly staff check-in call, then met my friend Matt at 240 Union, an iconic restaurant in Denver. He's very bright and runs a company; we shared stories of business and life, it was great to catch up.

I headed back to the mountain house to run a 2:00 virtual call with another friend. He's helping me on a project; I answered some emails and worked until 5:00, we had dinner with my friend Barrett and his wife, we met them in Golden before coming home and getting some magical bean bag time.

I've got some work I need to do this morning, then I've got a call to push my craft water vision forward. After that, I'll have lunch with a friend, my wife, and Cousin. Then Cousin heads back to Michigan; we will be sad. We are cosponsoring a humanity mixer tonight down in Parker. It should be another great day.

My men's group is doing a monthly review of Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life. We are on Rule 3; the concept is that who you hang out with determines your happiness and personal growth. The author shares a story about returning to his hometown and visiting a friend. The friend, over time, becomes despondent and lives a miserable life. The author talks to the friend and learns that all the people he associates with are very damaging, thinking they got left behind in some grand scheme of life. Negativity breeds angst, and if negative thoughts and ideas constantly surround you, you will eventually become unhappy.

I'm cautious letting negative people into my inner circle. Yes, I have friends that sometimes are down, but for the most part, the people in my world are happy, successful, and are driven by something bigger than themselves. I try and engage with values-oriented folks, having in-depth conversations about curiosity and dark matter.

I would ask you to think about your life and identify the people you have allowed in who do not deserve your time or treasure. You don't need to say goodbye, but you can begin limiting the time you spend with people that have negative energy. Trust me when I tell you the world is full of positive energy-focused people,  and like minds attract each other.

During my 52 years on this planet, I have had my share of people who did not make the cut over time. So I slowly began distancing myself from their whines, bitches, and moans and replaced them with joyful, happy, engaging people.

Our experience is unique; six years ago, we took a chance and moved 1187 miles from home to start a second life. Unfortunately, we knew no one and had to start meeting people who fit our desired profile from scratch. I'm blessed to be a connector so I can meet new people regularly. If they have good energy, I get deep with them and become friends; if they don't earn a place in my life.

I mentioned our humanity mixer tonight. Our friends Dave and Anna have a company called Wired Mustang, and once a month, they host an event; tonight, we will meet 50 or so new humans and can pick the best of the best to become friends or perhaps clients of our firm. When meeting new people, I care less about what they do than who they are. When I ask, "who are you?" and they answer something shallow about their vocation, I give them a couple of moments and move on. I'm not a fan of people that identify with their chosen profession.  

When asked who I am, I use the following "I'm a father, grandfather, lover, writer, teacher, and I own a small business." I don't have a stupid elevator pitch, I'm not on this earth to sell anyone anything, but if the human connection is there, life and maybe business will happen. People are much more than what they do for money, and if your focus is on the almighty dollar, well, "it was very nice to meet you."

We will work here until tomorrow at noon; we have a new opportunity to work with a large firm doing some exciting work. It's a national firm with a unique product and service. I love working with entrepreneurs that push past what we believe to be possible and cause the boundaries of knowledge to expand. So, much like picking your friends, try to find people that think outside the rhombus.

That's enough words for today; I need to get to work, I have a few emails I need to attend to and then run my calls, meet new and exciting people, love my wife, say goodbye to Cousin and get ready to hang out at the hot springs this weekend with 12 people that are smart, funny, and share our values.

I hope this gives you something to ponder; I often wonder why people stop to check out the words of a child born in the cornfields who now spend time on top of a mountain. I am living breathing proof that if you can dream it, you can do it. So please don't get stuck, don't hang out with duds; it's time to remove the human trash from your life. To be honest, who can you eliminate to make your life a little bit better. Who can you add to expand your mind and begin a new trajectory of joy, happiness, and curiosity?

"Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don't listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don't listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what's behind the words."
— Roy T. Bennett