Taco Tuesday, The Trifecta of Consternation, Society Needs a Masterclass in Disagreement
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind simultaneously and still retain the ability to function." - F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Some mornings, I wake up to a Led Zeppelin song; today is one of those days. We have misty mountains and a special needs sunrise with clouds, but you can see the sun hiding as if it needs a day off. It’s about 6:00 a.m. I slept well, woke up, and thought, I’m ready to roll. The pup has been out, the cat fed, coffee is made, and here we go, taking ideas and thoughts and putting them down on this little glowing screen for only God knows why or for whom.
We had a busy day as usual. We left to get some chores done. Thanks to my friend Matt, I picked up a nice opportunity. We will see if we can put it together; it looks promising. We got home, unpacked some of our purchases, and closed out the afternoon before heading to our friends Matt and Deb’s. A different Matt than above; I know a lot of Matts. We had been talking about doing something; they wanted to do Taco Night; they have a dog named Mazzie, who is about Parker's age, so it’s nice to get the dogs together.
Matt is the founder, president, and imagination behind RFN. A few years ago, Matt got a pretty dire diagnosis, but through the miracle of medicine and something bigger than ourselves was able to successfully beat the disease. He began thinking about the time he had left on this earth and decided that from now on he was going to live his life Right Fucking Now. He’s an inspiration to many; now retired from a successful construction career, he spends his days doing what he wants; his life is one of travel, family, and exploration.
Matt occasionally reads my work, and we had a nice chat last night about how to disagree and not cause a fissure in a friendship. We both agree it’s dangerous to have simple conversations, even with friends; he used the example of white wine; he said, “Some people would learn you drink white wine, and that’s a line that cannot be crossed so they can no longer be friends or spend time with you. He brought up my work from yesterday, where I do not favor funding other countries but want to take care of our people first. He made some good points, and we agreed to disagree. Then, we went inside for some amazing tacos and conversation. I think it is time for a master class on how to disagree and not create scorn or hate.
I remember heading back to Indiana in 2020. I had a friend I had not seen; we were gathering, and I invited him and his wife. He called me and said he wouldn’t be coming and could no longer spend time with my wife and me. I asked why, and he shared that our views were too disparate. I didn’t know our thoughts were disparate, and I shared that I was sorry for whatever I said, wrote, or shared and that I would still love him.
A friend recently shared that he lost a friend in the Middle East. He believes that he can see both sides, but the other person wants him to support one side over the other. He refused, and the person got so upset that they left and ended the friendship. We live in a world where if you don’t share someone’s opinion, you risk losing that person as a friend, which is sad. What happened to engage in debate and different viewpoints to expand our lens and maybe help others see things they have missed?
I think some topics are pretty toxic; some people secretly support our former president, and they nod along as the highlights of the Biden administration are touted, such as how great he and his doctor wife are. They would never dare share that they disagree with his policies and would prefer a different approach; this idea of supporting someone other than your choice can be a friendship killer. I guess I’m trying to say to be careful and stay away from the trifecta of consternation: religion, politics, and abortion.
Being a value-based individual can be challenging. If your values or ideals don’t align with someone else's, there is a chance they will write you out of their life. In most situations, we agree on 90% of the topics, but it’s that 10% that people want to focus on. Instead of taking time to listen to others and having an open mind to learn something you may have missed, the nuance of life, most have their mind made up, and if you disagree, well, don’t let the door hit you in the ass. It’s sad, really; we’ve gotten to this place where people think life is binary, but it’s non-binary. Life is whole of a spectrum of colors, ideas, thoughts, and passion. Don’t let your blinders prevent you from finding a new way to think about an issue; you are only hurting yourself.
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind simultaneously and still retain the ability to function." - F. Scott Fitzgerald.