My Cologuard Experience, OURA Updates, Our Gay Friends, Judging on Content of One's Character

"Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing."
— Chris Rock

Good morning, Thursday is here; I hope you have achieved everything you set out to accomplish this week; if not, you have two more days, get busy! I have a few things to tend to today and then a busy day tomorrow running back up to see some clients and friends.

As a 52-year-old male, I think it my duty to share with other older males my Cologuard experience. In case you missed it, Cologuard is a new way to check your prostate and eliminates the need for a colonoscopy. However, if the Cologuard picks up some unusual cells, you need to have the entire procedure.

My doctor recommended it; I got the box about 30 days ago; I was a little suspect of the process; Cologuard kept calling me, reminding me to submit the test. But I had a little apprehension; I had never before given a home stool sample; this would be my first foray.

Yesterday I decided I would provide my sample. I located the box; it's about the size of a toaster. I opened the box, and inside was a large bowl with a screw-top lid, what looked to be a needle, and a bottle of solution. I read the directions, I'm not a big rule follower, but I thought I should take some time and read what needed to be done.

There was a large plastic band that the bowl sat; you put that under the toilet seat. You then give a sample and throw the plastic band that supported the bowl away. Next, you take the needle, scrap the selection, and put it back into its solution. Then you add the solution to the sample and screw the lid on "tightly!" You remove the lable with your name and there is shipping instructions back to Madison, WI. 

I was instructed to go to UPS; when arriving at UPS, it was besides a Kroger, and since I have the maturity of a 14-year-old boy, I thought of an idea. I entered the store and bought a snickers candy bar. I returned to my car and opened the candy bar, and held it in each hand for about a minute. My fingers got browned, and then I began picking up the box, putting my brown fingerprints all over the white box. It looked like an art project.

I used a wet wipe to clean my hands and then took the now covered in brown fingerprints white box to UPS. When I walked in, I noticed the clerk behind the counter give me a nod. This white box was not her first Cologuard experience. I waited in line and then, when my turn, approached the counter. The look in the poor clerk's eyes was priceless.

Ok, let me say that when I pulled in the parking lot, I hatched the idea candy bar idea, but I did not buy snickers, nor did I put my brown fingerprints on the white box, but if you ever do, a Cologuard, feel free to steal my idea. In all seriousness, if you are over the age of 50, talk to your doctor about the Cologuard option; cancer is a killer, and if you can use a simple procedure to help live a few more years, why not do it?

I'm working from Indianapolis today; I get to go to the BMV; the last few times have been a joyful experience. Indiana BMV's have their shit together; I'm serious about that fact. I need to transfer my daughter's vehicle into her name, my last fatherhood duty; she's officially off our rolls, she and her husband are doing well, it's time to let go.

Tomorrow I'm heading up to Muncie to see a couple of clients; I'm working on our Co-working space. I'll stop and see my parents, then head home to spend the weekend with my wife, the most beautiful woman in the world. We are taking our neighbors out on Sunday to repay the act of kindness they showed during our recent homelessness event. 

My Oura ring shows my readiness at a 93, which is optimal, and my sleep at an 89, which is also optimal. Therefore, my activity is good; I need to move more, which I will do today. I got ten hours and 22 minutes of deep sleep last night. I believe sleep is as important as nutrition and movement. It's nice to have a device tracking these three key areas; it might be something to research?

My wife just got up, as did PVHT; my wife is getting coffee, and PVHT will eat breakfast. I've already got a couple of sugar cubes from my wife; morning kisses are a great way to start the day. Have I told you lately I'm in love? Love makes life complete; I don't know how one finds true happiness without love. There is a reason Adam had Eve, and I believe it ok if it was Adam and Steve, but that would have made it hard to replicate.

I'll end with something I found funny recently. We were at our CO house, and a neighbor stopped by; he said, "you guys have a lot of gay friends?" Of course, we both laughed; I guess we do. Then, he said, "I don't know one gay?"  Again we laughed; you probably do and don't know it. My best friend is gay; our Cousin is gay; one of my best friends in CO is a gay man; we have found the gay community very welcoming to our style of love. I've never understood liking someone because of their sexual persuasion, but more importantly, disliking someone for the same reason. We judge people by the content of their character.

Well, I hope you enjoyed today's soup, a little unique speaking of my stool, but an important message to some of my wiser friends. And to my younger friends, you get to look forward to pooping in a box! Be good, remember it ok to laugh, have friends of all colors, shapes, sizes, and persuasions. Be good, be kind; I'll see you tomorrow.

"Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing."
— Chris Rock