BEAR!, The Invisible Divide, Who is Bay, Increasing our Capacity for Connection

“Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.”
— Daniel Goleman

After a glorious weekend, we arrived back home about 3:00; we worked a little, then watched a silly movie, made some dinner, and then headed to bed at 8:30.  I woke up at 5:30, and thus I logged 9 hours of excellent sleep.  I did get up about 3:14 to get a drink, but my dream machine was unhinged; vivid stories of faraway lands played all night in my head.

I got up and let out the dog; I made coffee and noticed the sunrise was, again, extraordinary.  So I got my phone to take a photo of the sunrise when I looked down off my deck and saw a bear that I guess was about 200 pounds, not a big boy, but a nice boy.  He looked up and shook his head as if to say, “good morning, human!”  I thought I just let my dog out with this beast, but maybe they are friends, I don’t know.  It was good to see another one of God’s beasts this morning; I’ll take it as a good omen.

As we were heading home, we listened to NPR; there was a story about a newsroom that had experienced a mass shooting.  The story was horrific, sharing how the staff had to return to work after their coworkers got killed and returning to “normal.”  The narrator spoke of an invisible divide in the newsroom—those who present for the shooting and those out in the field.

I thought about that, the invisible divide, and I see that happening in society. I think it more on social media, something I don’t spend a lot of time on these days.  But even in the real world, there is a division that I hope to heal.  I’ll start by being kind to everyone I see, and I ask you to do the same.  A simple act, kindness can begin erasing the divide that separates us—a simple thought for the beginning of this week.

My Queen and I are together 361 days a year.  For four days, she rides horses with a group of women who camp, do yoga, and drink white wine.  I usually fly a friend in to hang out; I do not like to be alone. So yesterday, as I was getting my toes painted deep blue with fireworks, I looked online for something to do.  There is a music festival in Salida; my friend Joshua had mentioned it; I asked if he wanted to go, I’m now getting us a house a few moments away from the festival. 

Early in our relationship, we listened to the book the Five Love Languages. As a result, we discovered that my wife is a gift girl, and I’m a words of affirmation man. So if you have not listened to the book with your mate, that is my morning recommendation.  After getting our toes “did,” we walked over to a gift shop, and I bought my wife some new earrings.  I also bought my pup a new bandana; as I left the store, I handed them to her, her smile was infectious.

Someone asked who is “Bay?” and I will share Bay is like one of our kids.  She works for us, rents from us, and lives in our downtown condo with our daughter.  They are future sisters-in-law.  Bay is an independent kid, always looking for adventure, and does spend about a night a week at our mountain home.  We play gin; she’s a fun kid to have around.  She met us for lunch on Friday and then headed out and stayed with us all weekend.  We played gin for hours; she joined us when getting our toes done. Then, we grabbed lunch before she headed back to the city; we love that kid.

While dining, we saw our friends John and Sarah; it had been about 18 months since we had connected.  John owns a large construction business in the area, Sarah is a tattoo artist.  He has a good friend that is a country music artist coming to town and was looking to partner him with some local spots to play.  They got a table next to us, and as we sat, the owner of the Well, Packers Bar and Music Venue in our hood stopped by to chat.  We introduced John to the owner; hopefully, we can connect with John’s friend and bring the gift of music to our community.

As we sat and had dinner, another friend was sharing photos of moose he had been shooting with his camera while working in Granby.  He’s a dynamite technician, clearing some of the debris from last year’s fire.  He shared he’s moving to South Dakota; this place is “getting too damn liberal.”  He complained about the traffic; he’s lived here for decades but does not like the influx of people.  I remember first meeting Don and him looking at us funny, I now know he’s suspect of new people, but we became friends.  As a new resident, I can’t fathom living anywhere else, but you do you, and I’ll do me, and forever we will live wild and free.

I’m three days into my positive intelligence training.  I’m doing some work on my mind, creating new neural pathways.  I do this using some simple exercises; it’s a daily commitment; I have a pod of four others that will help me learn this system. After that, I plan to begin teaching these tools to others.

I’ve got a couple of Sherpa Training sessions this week; I’m looking to add a couple of clients in July.  I’ve got a couple of leads; Bay is helping me lock down our next couple of clients; two clients a month is my goal. I think it is a reasonable offering, allowing me to continue my work at our mother ship while helping others personally and professionally grow.  

These are the words of a happy and blessed man.  If you know me, you know my heart, and if you don’t know me, maybe you and I should jump on a Zoom call.  One of my passions is connecting with strangers, hearing their stories, and sharing mine.  I’ve got a call with a new friend I met during the pandemic named Josh; we chat about every other month; he’s a gifted speaker and trainer, I learn from Josh, and maybe he picks up a little bit of wisdom from yours truly.  Life is about the human connection; open your mind to connecting with others and let the universe do the rest.

“Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.”
— Daniel Goleman